As a child, I was never really interested in superheroes. My only participation with anything related to superheroes was my special handshake with my sister. It came from The Wonder Twins from the show Super Friends. The Wonder Twins were a brother and sister duo who were superheroes-in-training. Their powers were activated when they touched each other and said "Wonder Twin power activate!" My sister and I would alter this phrase to say "Sister power activate!" To this day, when something happens and we need to feel that bond, we remember those words from our childhood. Now that I am an adult, the topic of superheroes is primarily relegated to conversations with my own children. Last year for Halloween, my daughter dressed up as SuperGirl and I dressed as SuperMom. We made a good superhero team, and it was also a way for us to feel close and connected, just as my sister and I would always try to do.
This past summer, a song was released by The Script entitled Superheroes. Here are some of the lyrics from that song:
"When you've been fighting for it all your life,
You've been struggling to make things right.
That's how a superhero learns to fly,
Every day, every hour, turn the pain into power.
All the hurt, all the lies
All the tears that they cry.
When the moment is just right,
You'll see fire in their eyes.
Cause he's stronger than you know,
A heart of steel starts to grow."
These lyrics are a reminder of how overcoming obstacles leads to strength and empowerment. I will gladly admit, I am not a superhero. Although, in my daily life I sometimes feel I'm expected to be one. I have obligations to my children, my family, my friends, and my clients. Sometimes I wish I did have super powers to juggle it all effortlessly. While I may not be able to fly, or be invisible, or have x-ray vision, I do try my best to face challenges head on, with courage and confidence, just like you would expect any superhero to do. I am proud of my accomplishments. Yet, I am human. I am not perfect. At times I struggle, and at times I make mistakes. I've been through many life challenges and I believe I have come out on the other side...stronger, wiser, and more appreciative of the life that I lead.
As a psychologist, I spend my days showing compassion and trying to provide guidance for the struggles that my clients face in their own lives. I try to help them to be their own superhero in the story of their life. A good example of how I view my clients comes from Christopher Reeve, who stated, "A hero is an ordinary individual who finds the strength to persevere and endure in spite of overwhelming obstacles." So, when the road of life gets rocky, go ahead and find your inner superhero. Stand tall and face the problem with whatever mortal powers you possess. You are stronger than you know. While you're at it, go ahead and tell those you care about how proud you are of their strength and perseverance as well. Like the Wonder Twins characters, we need to stick together and support each other to make the tough times easier.
"She's got lions in her heart, a fire in her soul,
He's got a beast in his belly that's so hard to control.
Cause they've taken too much hits, taking blow by blow.
Now light a match, stand back, and watch them explode."
As the lyrics above suggest, the more adversity we face, the stronger our power within us becomes. It's just a matter of finding the spark that ignites our inner superhero. And then, watch out, because anything is possible!
Wednesday, November 19, 2014
Wednesday, November 5, 2014
A BRIDGE BETWEEN TWO WORLDS
A few nights ago, I went to see a well-known spiritual medium who was in town speaking to a large auditorium of people. I have never been to see a medium before, and up until the past year, never really gave much thought to anything related to the spiritual world or what happens after death. However, since my mother's passing a year ago, followed by my aunt's death soon after, I've thought more about these issues than I ever did previously. Therefore, when I heard the medium was coming into town I decided to see for myself what it was all about.
Besides being interested in this topic because of my own personal loss, I also have many clients that attend therapy because they are grieving. Some of these clients are children and some are adults, but regardless of their age, they all have one thing in common. Everyone seems to be looking for some sort of peace. As I sat in the audience the other night at the event, I was moved by some of the stories of loss that I heard. I was also impressed, and at times astonished, at how the medium was able to provide valuable information to the loved ones of the deceased. Her words not only gave clarity for the audience, but also seemed to provide much comfort to those to whom she transmitted spiritual messages.
After leaving the event, one thing that continued to stay on my mind is the idea of loved ones wanting to have some sort of closure, as well as the feelings of regret for not having had the opportunity to say their goodbyes. If you've read earlier blog entries of mine, you may recall the one entitled "If Today Was Your Last Day", which addresses the issue of not knowing when our last day will come, or our loved ones' last day, and trying to make the most of life while we can. For example. we should try to make sure that the people in our lives know their importance to us. With this in mind, I often make a point of telling my children that I love them every single day, and often multiple times a day. Since I only have them with me fifty percent of the time, I always make sure that I speak to them on days I don't see them. I have learned the hard way that you never know when it may be your last chance to tell someone how you feel or to say goodbye. I have discussed this in other blog entries as well, but I believe it is always worth repeating. If we live a life of true connection to others, then whenever the end of life comes, we will be ready to embrace it, and to let go.
As I sat in the auditorium and listened to everyone who wanted closure regarding their loss, and wanted the comfort of knowing that their dearly departed were at peace, I considered the message we all have been told in multiple ways throughout our lives. As Emily Dickinson wrote, "Unable are the loved to die. For love is immortality." This, of course, leads me to the whole point of this blog entry. Our loved ones stay with us even after they are gone. They are in our hearts, and on our minds, and therefore never too far away. Whether or not you believe in their spirit being available to you, or whether you believe they simply live on in memory, the idea is still the same. There exists a bridge between two worlds. You and I, and all the other living people, are the bridge between life and those we have lost. Don't forget those that have passed on. Honor their memory in whatever way you see fit. In addition, while you're still here on earth, don't wait to live the life you want. Don't wait to let others know how you feel. Do it now. Today is a gift, and tomorrow is not guaranteed. Although it irks me to have to quote him, John Mayer said it well in the lyrics: "Say what you need to say. It's better to say too much, then never to say what you need to say again." Even if you missed your chance to tell a loved one how you feel, and they are no longer alive, you can still let them know what's in your heart. They might be listening after all.
Besides being interested in this topic because of my own personal loss, I also have many clients that attend therapy because they are grieving. Some of these clients are children and some are adults, but regardless of their age, they all have one thing in common. Everyone seems to be looking for some sort of peace. As I sat in the audience the other night at the event, I was moved by some of the stories of loss that I heard. I was also impressed, and at times astonished, at how the medium was able to provide valuable information to the loved ones of the deceased. Her words not only gave clarity for the audience, but also seemed to provide much comfort to those to whom she transmitted spiritual messages.
After leaving the event, one thing that continued to stay on my mind is the idea of loved ones wanting to have some sort of closure, as well as the feelings of regret for not having had the opportunity to say their goodbyes. If you've read earlier blog entries of mine, you may recall the one entitled "If Today Was Your Last Day", which addresses the issue of not knowing when our last day will come, or our loved ones' last day, and trying to make the most of life while we can. For example. we should try to make sure that the people in our lives know their importance to us. With this in mind, I often make a point of telling my children that I love them every single day, and often multiple times a day. Since I only have them with me fifty percent of the time, I always make sure that I speak to them on days I don't see them. I have learned the hard way that you never know when it may be your last chance to tell someone how you feel or to say goodbye. I have discussed this in other blog entries as well, but I believe it is always worth repeating. If we live a life of true connection to others, then whenever the end of life comes, we will be ready to embrace it, and to let go.
As I sat in the auditorium and listened to everyone who wanted closure regarding their loss, and wanted the comfort of knowing that their dearly departed were at peace, I considered the message we all have been told in multiple ways throughout our lives. As Emily Dickinson wrote, "Unable are the loved to die. For love is immortality." This, of course, leads me to the whole point of this blog entry. Our loved ones stay with us even after they are gone. They are in our hearts, and on our minds, and therefore never too far away. Whether or not you believe in their spirit being available to you, or whether you believe they simply live on in memory, the idea is still the same. There exists a bridge between two worlds. You and I, and all the other living people, are the bridge between life and those we have lost. Don't forget those that have passed on. Honor their memory in whatever way you see fit. In addition, while you're still here on earth, don't wait to live the life you want. Don't wait to let others know how you feel. Do it now. Today is a gift, and tomorrow is not guaranteed. Although it irks me to have to quote him, John Mayer said it well in the lyrics: "Say what you need to say. It's better to say too much, then never to say what you need to say again." Even if you missed your chance to tell a loved one how you feel, and they are no longer alive, you can still let them know what's in your heart. They might be listening after all.
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