It's been quite some time since my last blog entry. I'm not exactly sure why, but I would guess that it's because life gets busy and time gets away from me. Like Ferris Bueller said, "Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in awhile, you could miss it." Lately, I've been trying to do just that. I've been trying to take in all the moments, especially those spent with my children. Perhaps it's because of all the negative things I see happening around me, such as people my age dying and leaving their children too soon, or children leaving this earth way before their time. Maybe it's all the depression and anxiety I see that debilitates my clients, and greatly decreases their quality of life.
In any case, I've noticed that recently, when I look at my children, I keep getting flashbacks of when they were little. For example, while playing soccer and football with my son this weekend, I got images in my head of when he was just a baby, when I would rock him to sleep in the rocking chair. As he did chores with me around the house yesterday, I thought about what a helpful boy he has become, and how smart he is, and how loving he can be. I remembered his easygoing nature as a baby and how much fun it was to take hime places and experience new things. Recently, I've pictured him as an adult, with a job, and a wife and kids. It is strange to think that far in the future! After all, he is my youngest, and he is only nine years old. However, I am certain that it will feel like the blink of an eye when those days arrive. I've also been experiencing the same thing with my twelve year old daughter. When did she even get to be a pre-teen?! She, like her brother, amazes me all the time. I am impressed with the way she handles academics, dance, and her social life. She has such a good heart, and it shows in her actions. She is my first-born, and I have memories of the challenges of parenting her as a baby. She was a miserable baby, with terrible colic and frequent projectile vomiting. It was not an easy journey. I felt very alone when she was a baby, as I was the only one who could calm her down, and really the only one with the patience to handle her screaming. However, in those infant and toddler months, we formed a special bond. I believe to this day that my ability and willingness to be present to her needs helped her to become the well adjusted child she is today. I feel so blessed to have the children that I do. I realize just how lucky I am. While I will never get any of those precious early moments back, I like to reminisce about the joys (and challenges) of those early days with my kids, and I wouldn't change a single thing.
Sometimes, the memories of my kids are like a movie playing in my head. It reminds me of that song which includes the lyrics, "Turn around and you're two, Turn around and you're four, Turn around and you're a young girl going out of the door....Turn around and you're tiny, Turn around and you're grown, Turn around and you're a young wife with babes of your own." Time flies, and I don't want to miss a moment. I think most people feel that way, if they actually stop and think about it. However, perhaps my thoughts are somewhat different than others. We each have unique experiences that determine how we see the world and our place in it. While I had cancer a few years ago, and even though I was so lucky to have the situation that I did, (if cancer is ever easy!), it certainly made me see the world a little differently. Moments are precious. They are not to be wasted. I knew this all along, but I realized it more over the past few years. So, when my son is screaming about wanting to stay up later, or my daughter is yelling that she wants to sleep in, I try to remember how quickly time passes, and how someday these experiences I share with them will all be distant memories. I want to hold on as long as I can.
This need to hold on to time, and the awareness that life is fragile, doesn't just affect my feelings about my kids. It affects everything. For the people and things in my life that I feel fortunate to have, I am reminded to never take them for granted. I am aware of the importance of appreciating all of the people that are important to me, and letting them know it. For the challenging and trying times I must go through, I am reminded that things will someday change, and the difficulties will pass.
So please, do me a favor...The next time your child is whining, or your spouse is getting on your nerves, or your best friend is complaining, remember how quickly life passes us by, and how no one knows what tomorrow brings. Remember to soak up all of the moments, and bask in the joy of being with your loved ones. Moments pass quickly, but memories last a lifetime.
Monday, November 9, 2015
Saturday, March 7, 2015
ALL I REALLY NEED TO KNOW I LEARNED... AT THE GYM
There is a book of short essays by Robert Fulghum called "All I Really Need To Know I Learned In Kindergarten." The first essay in the book has this same title, and it is about how the world would be a better place if adults adhered to the same rules that children learn in kindergarten classrooms. I thought about this idea this morning while I was working out, and I realized that there are important lessons to be learned at the gym as well.
Let me start by saying that I don't do much exercise. Working out has never been my thing. When I was younger and my body could take the stress, I used to enjoy going running. When I got older, I started going to yoga. Then I got breast cancer and had a difficult time continuing to practice. Following that, I started walking outside when the weather was agreeable to it. Now, over the past couple of weeks, I have begun running again, just like I did when I was in my teens and 20's. I've recently joined a gym and I try to go a couple of times a week. Let's just say, I am not the kind of girl who goes to the gym. I don't have the proper workout clothes, I don't watch my diet or my weight, and frankly, I am not a fan of rooms full of sweaty people. I would prefer a hike in the mountains or a walk along the beach any day. However, recently I decided it was time to focus on my physical well-being, and I found my way back to running. I'm up to four miles now, and I'm looking forward to when spring comes and I can take my running outside. I know for many people four miles might not be a lot, but for me, four miles is comparable to having run a marathon. (Ok, not quite, but you get where I'm coming from, right?) I'm pleased to say that the feeling of accomplishment that I get when I run is worth the effort. Similarly, the opportunity to free my mind and body and push it in new ways is rewarding. The following are ten simple life lessons which illustrate the notion that, all I really need to know I learned at the gym.
1. A smile and a positive attitude go a long way.
Whether it's the gym employee that greets me on the way in, or the person using the machine next to me, a nice friendly smile or greeting can make the difference between a good day or a bad one. Use this in your daily life to make a difference. Whether it be at the workplace or in your home, a smile and a positive attitude impacts those around you.
2. Consideration for others is a necessity.
Wiping down the equipment after you've used it shows respect and consideration for your fellow gym members. It's really no different than the kindness we show strangers when we hold open a door for them or offer that they go in front of us in line. Do unto others as you would have done to you. The gym is like its own little microcosm, where respect for others is a requirement for a well-functioning society.
3. If you think you can, you will. If you tell yourself you can't, you won't.
It's simple. When I'm on the treadmill and I'm saying I 'm tired and I don't know if i can keep going, I stop. Yet, when I push myself to think about achieving my goal and how I am capable of doing it, I do it. The same applies to anything in life. Tell yourself all the positive reasons why you are going to succeed. Imagine succeeding. Don't start rattling off in your head the obstacles in front of you. Instead, think of all the reasons you'll achieve your goal. Where there's a will there's a way. Find it.
4. Move to the beat of your own drum.
It doesn't matter if everyone else is listening to their iPods while you run with only the music that plays in your head. It doesn't matter if the woman next to you is running six miles to your one mile. Everyone is different. You are only in competition with yourself. At the gym, or in life, you only have to try to be better than the you that you were yesterday.
5. It's ok to ask for help when you need it.
My first day at the gym I had to stop and ask someone how to use the treadmill. Seriously. I wasn't sure how to keep it to its basic functions, with all the fancy buttons and programs available these days. Likewise, if you run into a hurdle in life, theres no shame in asking for some support or guidance.
6. There is a fine balance between social time and time for oneself.
Do you ever notice how some people go to workout with a friend, while others consistently do their exercising alone? What about when you are working out and someone comes over and wants to chat? You'd like to be friendly, yet you're having a hard enough time breathing to be able to carry on a semi-intelligent conversation. Make time for socializing and make time for yourself. Both are necessary. Both are valuable. And as far as I can tell, it's tough to simultaneously socialize and take time for yourself, and then fully reap the benefits of either.
7. Mix it up.
Doing the same thing over and over again is boring, both at the gym and in life. Add some variety to both, and you'll be a lot happier.
8. No one else can do it for you.
Whether it's lifting weights and using the elliptical, or whether it's starting a new career or relationship, only you can make it happen. So get out there and do it.
9. When you think you can't take any more, you can.
When your muscles feel sore, or when you think you can't juggle anymore stress in life, know that you probably can go a little further. Whatever life hands you, you are capable of getting through it. Take a deep breath, think about how to get through it, and forge ahead. Don't give up.
10. You get out of it what you put into it.
Time spent at the gym is like time spent living your life. The more you put into it, the more you get out of it. If you're going to bother going to the gym at all, don't half-ass your workout. It was hard enough to wake yourself up, put on workout clothes, and get there. More importantly, don't half-ass your way through life. You only live once. It might feel like a quick sprint, or it might feel like a marathon. No matter what, make every step count!
Let me start by saying that I don't do much exercise. Working out has never been my thing. When I was younger and my body could take the stress, I used to enjoy going running. When I got older, I started going to yoga. Then I got breast cancer and had a difficult time continuing to practice. Following that, I started walking outside when the weather was agreeable to it. Now, over the past couple of weeks, I have begun running again, just like I did when I was in my teens and 20's. I've recently joined a gym and I try to go a couple of times a week. Let's just say, I am not the kind of girl who goes to the gym. I don't have the proper workout clothes, I don't watch my diet or my weight, and frankly, I am not a fan of rooms full of sweaty people. I would prefer a hike in the mountains or a walk along the beach any day. However, recently I decided it was time to focus on my physical well-being, and I found my way back to running. I'm up to four miles now, and I'm looking forward to when spring comes and I can take my running outside. I know for many people four miles might not be a lot, but for me, four miles is comparable to having run a marathon. (Ok, not quite, but you get where I'm coming from, right?) I'm pleased to say that the feeling of accomplishment that I get when I run is worth the effort. Similarly, the opportunity to free my mind and body and push it in new ways is rewarding. The following are ten simple life lessons which illustrate the notion that, all I really need to know I learned at the gym.
1. A smile and a positive attitude go a long way.
Whether it's the gym employee that greets me on the way in, or the person using the machine next to me, a nice friendly smile or greeting can make the difference between a good day or a bad one. Use this in your daily life to make a difference. Whether it be at the workplace or in your home, a smile and a positive attitude impacts those around you.
2. Consideration for others is a necessity.
Wiping down the equipment after you've used it shows respect and consideration for your fellow gym members. It's really no different than the kindness we show strangers when we hold open a door for them or offer that they go in front of us in line. Do unto others as you would have done to you. The gym is like its own little microcosm, where respect for others is a requirement for a well-functioning society.
3. If you think you can, you will. If you tell yourself you can't, you won't.
It's simple. When I'm on the treadmill and I'm saying I 'm tired and I don't know if i can keep going, I stop. Yet, when I push myself to think about achieving my goal and how I am capable of doing it, I do it. The same applies to anything in life. Tell yourself all the positive reasons why you are going to succeed. Imagine succeeding. Don't start rattling off in your head the obstacles in front of you. Instead, think of all the reasons you'll achieve your goal. Where there's a will there's a way. Find it.
4. Move to the beat of your own drum.
It doesn't matter if everyone else is listening to their iPods while you run with only the music that plays in your head. It doesn't matter if the woman next to you is running six miles to your one mile. Everyone is different. You are only in competition with yourself. At the gym, or in life, you only have to try to be better than the you that you were yesterday.
5. It's ok to ask for help when you need it.
My first day at the gym I had to stop and ask someone how to use the treadmill. Seriously. I wasn't sure how to keep it to its basic functions, with all the fancy buttons and programs available these days. Likewise, if you run into a hurdle in life, theres no shame in asking for some support or guidance.
6. There is a fine balance between social time and time for oneself.
Do you ever notice how some people go to workout with a friend, while others consistently do their exercising alone? What about when you are working out and someone comes over and wants to chat? You'd like to be friendly, yet you're having a hard enough time breathing to be able to carry on a semi-intelligent conversation. Make time for socializing and make time for yourself. Both are necessary. Both are valuable. And as far as I can tell, it's tough to simultaneously socialize and take time for yourself, and then fully reap the benefits of either.
7. Mix it up.
Doing the same thing over and over again is boring, both at the gym and in life. Add some variety to both, and you'll be a lot happier.
8. No one else can do it for you.
Whether it's lifting weights and using the elliptical, or whether it's starting a new career or relationship, only you can make it happen. So get out there and do it.
9. When you think you can't take any more, you can.
When your muscles feel sore, or when you think you can't juggle anymore stress in life, know that you probably can go a little further. Whatever life hands you, you are capable of getting through it. Take a deep breath, think about how to get through it, and forge ahead. Don't give up.
10. You get out of it what you put into it.
Time spent at the gym is like time spent living your life. The more you put into it, the more you get out of it. If you're going to bother going to the gym at all, don't half-ass your workout. It was hard enough to wake yourself up, put on workout clothes, and get there. More importantly, don't half-ass your way through life. You only live once. It might feel like a quick sprint, or it might feel like a marathon. No matter what, make every step count!
Thursday, January 8, 2015
I'LL HAVE MY (BIRTHDAY) CAKE, AND EAT IT TOO!
This weekend I will be turning 42. Unlike many people, I don't dread the idea of turning another year older. I'm looking forward to celebrating my birthday this weekend, on Friday night with my boyfriend, on Saturday night with my friends, and on Sunday with my kids. However, my social plans are not the reason I look forward to my birthday.
To me, turning another year older means I've accomplished something. I've lived another year. I've survived another year. I've parented my kids for another year, dealt with all kinds of bullshit for another year, been there for my friends and my clients another year, and have beat cancer for another year. Having a birthday doesn't mean I'm getting old and closer to the end of life. It doesn't mean I'm slower than I was, or have more wrinkles or grey hair. It means I've been successful in navigating the ups and downs of life for yet another year. A birthday is not something that I fear, but rather something that I cherish, because quite simply, it means I've gotten to live another year.
One Republic released a song in 2013 called "I lived". Below are some lyrics from the song:
"I...I did it all, I...I did it all,
I owned every second that this world could give.
I saw so many places, the things that I did.
Yeah with every broken bone, I swear I lived.
Hope that you spend your days,
But they all add up.
And when that sun goes down,
Hope you raise your cup."
This song is a reminder to me that we should embrace and savor every moment that we experience, good or bad. It is a reminder to appreciate all that life has to offer. It emphasizes the idea of living your life to the fullest and not backing down or away from it, because at the end, it will have all been worth it. I like to remind myself on every birthday just how much I have to be grateful for, and how much I have accomplished.
There is a quote by baseball player Satchel Paige that says, "How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?" This is a worthwhile question to consider. I'm told I don't look 42. I certainly don't feel 42. I'm not quite sure how old I do feel. I've lived a lot of life. I've experienced a lot of things, some better than others. I've had to face obstacles, yet I've known pure joy. I am grateful that I have been able to experience the world in the way that I have. I am even thankful for the hard times that have come along, because they have helped me to appreciate the good ones even more. I don't know how old I would be if I didn't know how old I was...yet, I know that I am happy to be whatever age I am!
There's a saying that you can't have your cake and eat it too. Some people feel that they can't be happy about a birthday because it means they are aging. They can't have one without the other. However, acknowledging my birthday as an accomplishment rather than a disappointment, no matter how old I get, is my version of having my cake and eating it too (especially if it's a chocolate birthday cake!). So, when your birthday comes along, blow out your candles with enthusiasm, reflect on all you have experienced, and then go ahead and have your cake, and eat it too!
To me, turning another year older means I've accomplished something. I've lived another year. I've survived another year. I've parented my kids for another year, dealt with all kinds of bullshit for another year, been there for my friends and my clients another year, and have beat cancer for another year. Having a birthday doesn't mean I'm getting old and closer to the end of life. It doesn't mean I'm slower than I was, or have more wrinkles or grey hair. It means I've been successful in navigating the ups and downs of life for yet another year. A birthday is not something that I fear, but rather something that I cherish, because quite simply, it means I've gotten to live another year.
One Republic released a song in 2013 called "I lived". Below are some lyrics from the song:
"I...I did it all, I...I did it all,
I owned every second that this world could give.
I saw so many places, the things that I did.
Yeah with every broken bone, I swear I lived.
Hope that you spend your days,
But they all add up.
And when that sun goes down,
Hope you raise your cup."
This song is a reminder to me that we should embrace and savor every moment that we experience, good or bad. It is a reminder to appreciate all that life has to offer. It emphasizes the idea of living your life to the fullest and not backing down or away from it, because at the end, it will have all been worth it. I like to remind myself on every birthday just how much I have to be grateful for, and how much I have accomplished.
There is a quote by baseball player Satchel Paige that says, "How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?" This is a worthwhile question to consider. I'm told I don't look 42. I certainly don't feel 42. I'm not quite sure how old I do feel. I've lived a lot of life. I've experienced a lot of things, some better than others. I've had to face obstacles, yet I've known pure joy. I am grateful that I have been able to experience the world in the way that I have. I am even thankful for the hard times that have come along, because they have helped me to appreciate the good ones even more. I don't know how old I would be if I didn't know how old I was...yet, I know that I am happy to be whatever age I am!
There's a saying that you can't have your cake and eat it too. Some people feel that they can't be happy about a birthday because it means they are aging. They can't have one without the other. However, acknowledging my birthday as an accomplishment rather than a disappointment, no matter how old I get, is my version of having my cake and eating it too (especially if it's a chocolate birthday cake!). So, when your birthday comes along, blow out your candles with enthusiasm, reflect on all you have experienced, and then go ahead and have your cake, and eat it too!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)