Sunday, September 17, 2017

HURRICANES, HEALTH, AND HAPPINESS

Last weekend, for many people living in Florida, time suddenly stood still.  Trivial decisions, such as what to watch on television, or where to go for dinner, no longer mattered.  Daily challenges that had previously occupied a family’s attention seemed to disappear, unless they were directly related to survival. This was true for my immediate family members as well, as they suddenly found themselves in the direct path of Hurricane Irma.


There is nothing like a natural disaster, even if not directly affected by it, to remind us of the fragility of life.  There are so many things in life that are out of our immediate control, and a hurricane certainly highlights this fact.  When I learned that my family members were choosing to remain at home, rather than evacuate, I was concerned. I felt helpless to do anything, as I certainly cannot control a hurricane (or for that matter, my family members’ minds once they decide something). Safe in my home a thousand miles away, I realized there was nothing I could possibly do about the situation but wait.  When I tried calling my father in the early morning hours the day after the hurricane, he didn’t answer.  I then reached out to my brother, who also lives in Florida. My brother stated that his own family was safe and that if we didn’t hear from my father by the afternoon, he would drive over to his house an hour away to check on him.  As it turned out, that wasn’t necessary. I was able to reach my stepmother, who assured me that my father was home, safe in his bed, catching up on his sleep.    


While the anxiety brought on by a natural disaster can be overwhelming, it doesn’t take a hurricane to cause many people to worry, sometimes in debilitating ways.  Most of the clients I see in my psychology practice are attending therapy sessions in order to learn how to manage their anxiety. Whether it be generalized anxiety, social anxiety, health anxiety, post traumatic stress, panic attacks, obsessive compulsive disorder, or phobias, they are all hoping to learn techniques to minimize their worry, and to be able to accept uncertainty.   


Anxiety is a powerful thing.  It can rob individuals of daily happiness.  Despite rational, logical thinking, it can convince people of the most negative outcomes they can imagine.  I often refer to it as a “Worry Bully”.  Bullies don’t stop until they get what they want.  For individuals with anxiety, worry can be relentless.  It can feel like being powerless in the path of a hurricane.   One of the approaches I take with my clients is that if they can take productive action of some kind to decrease their worry, then they should do so.  It allows one to exert control over a situation.  For example, many people evacuated their homes to try to increase their chances of staying safe during Hurricane Irma.  My family chose to stay rather than to evacuate.  They took a different form of action, by preparing themselves with supplies for their homes and gas for their cars.  However, there was not a single thing I could do for them. So, I didn’t do anything, including attempting not to worry.  Worrying wasn’t going to keep them safe.  Some of my clients have expressed that worrying is comforting because it seems like a way to protect themselves from bad things happening to them.  However, worry doesn’t protect us.  Rather, it depletes us of the energy we need to successfully navigate challenging situations.


Last weekend was difficult, and the proactive approaches that could be taken were limited. Next weekend, however, is going to be an opportunity for me personally to be proactive for a different kind of issue.  Next weekend, during the high school varsity football game, I will be participating in a halftime processional which will honor both victims and survivors of breast cancer. As a survivor, I feel it’s important to take actions to increase awareness for this common type of cancer. Participating in this halftime event at the football game is my small way of taking action for a cause I believe in. In the past, I have been a survivor speaker for the Relay for Life, as well as a participant for several years in the Making Strides for Breast Cancer walk.  I will continue to try to do my part to raise awareness and funds for breast cancer research and treatment.

Whether it be health or hurricanes, we must accept that there are many things in life that are beyond our control.  There are things like natural disasters and disease that can be more powerful forces than we are.  Yet, that shouldn’t stop us from doing what we can to be happy, and try to make the most out of our daily lives.  Rather than make us worry, the uncertainties in life should motivate us to make every day count. Tomorrow is not promised.  As the Dove chocolate candy commercial tells us, “Live Each Day As If It’s The Only One.”