Monday, November 9, 2015

TURNAROUND

It's been quite some time since my last blog entry.  I'm not exactly sure why, but I would guess that it's because life gets busy and time gets away from me.  Like Ferris Bueller said, "Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in awhile, you could miss it."  Lately, I've been trying to do just that.  I've been trying to take in all the moments, especially those spent with my children.  Perhaps it's because of all the negative things I see happening around me, such as people my age dying and leaving their children too soon, or children leaving this earth way before their time.  Maybe it's all the depression and anxiety I see that debilitates my clients, and greatly decreases their quality of life.

In any case, I've noticed that recently, when I look at my children, I keep getting flashbacks of when they were little.  For example, while playing soccer and football with my son this weekend, I got images in my head of when he was just a baby, when I would rock him to sleep in the rocking chair. As he did chores with me around the house yesterday, I thought about what a helpful boy he has become, and how smart he is, and how loving he can be.  I remembered his easygoing nature as a baby and how much fun it was to take hime places and experience new things.  Recently, I've pictured him as an adult, with a job, and a wife and kids. It is strange to think that far in the future! After all, he is my youngest, and he is only nine years old. However, I am certain that it will feel like the blink of an eye when those days arrive.  I've also been experiencing the same thing with my twelve year old daughter.  When did she even get to be a pre-teen?! She, like her brother, amazes me all the time.  I am impressed with the way she handles academics, dance, and her social life.  She has such a good heart, and it shows in her actions.  She is my first-born, and I have memories of the challenges of parenting her as a baby.  She was a miserable baby, with terrible colic and frequent projectile vomiting.  It was not an easy journey. I felt very alone when she was a baby, as I was the only one who could calm her down, and really the only one with the patience to handle her screaming. However, in those infant and toddler months, we formed a special bond.  I believe to this day that my ability and willingness to be present to her needs helped her to become the well adjusted child she is today.  I feel so blessed to have the children that I do. I realize just how lucky I am.  While I will never get any of those precious early moments back, I like to reminisce about the joys (and challenges) of those early days with my kids, and I wouldn't change a single thing.

Sometimes, the memories of my kids are like a movie playing in my head.  It reminds me of that song which includes the lyrics, "Turn around and you're two, Turn around and you're four, Turn around and you're a young girl going out of the door....Turn around and you're tiny, Turn around and you're grown, Turn around and you're a young wife with babes of your own."  Time flies, and I don't want to miss a moment.  I think most people feel that way, if they actually stop and think about it.  However, perhaps my thoughts are somewhat different than others.  We each have unique experiences that determine how we see the world and our place in it.  While I had cancer a few years ago, and even though I was so lucky to have the situation that I did, (if cancer is ever easy!), it certainly made me see the world a little differently.  Moments are precious.  They are not to be wasted.  I knew this all along, but I realized it more over the past few years.  So, when my son is screaming about wanting to stay up later, or my daughter is yelling that she wants to sleep in, I try to remember how quickly time passes, and how someday these experiences I share with them will all be distant memories.  I want to hold on as long as I can.

This need to hold on to time, and the awareness that life is fragile,  doesn't just affect my feelings about my kids.  It affects everything.  For the people and things in my life that I feel fortunate to have, I am reminded to never take them for granted. I am aware of the importance of appreciating all of the people that are important to me, and letting them know it.  For the challenging and trying times I must go through, I am reminded that things will someday change, and the difficulties will pass.

So please, do me a favor...The next time your child is whining, or your spouse is getting on your nerves, or your best friend is complaining, remember how quickly life passes us by, and how no one knows what tomorrow brings.  Remember to soak up all of the moments, and bask in the joy of being with your loved ones.  Moments pass quickly, but memories last a lifetime.