LIFE LESSONS FROM TRAVEL BASEBALL

As my son's travel baseball season comes to an end, I can't help but reflect on what I have learned this year.  He has one more tournament left before our weekends will once again become our own. My son has been playing baseball for several years, and has been on a travel team for the past two seasons.  I have to admit, when he first started to play, I did not know much about the game.  Today, I know a lot more about baseball than I ever did before.  Yet, the most important things I have learned have not been about the game itself, but rather, lessons about life in general.  Here are some life lessons from baseball. 

1.  IN BASEBALL, AS IN LIFE, YOU HAVE TO SHOW UP.  Every day.  Every inning.  Even when you don't feel like it.  Even when you have other things to do.  Even when you're injured. At one time or another, we've all had setbacks that have made it difficult to bring our A game, whether that be to work, to our loved ones, or even to ourselves.  Thats ok, but we still need to try. We owe it to our teammates, our co-workers, our children, and our significant others to be present.  Showing up and making an effort is a requirement.  Recently, there was a situation in which a player did not make it to the first day of one of our tournaments. (Ok, so he happened to be my kid.) Had it been my decision, I would have made sure he was there, but in this particular situation the circumstances were out of my control.  In any case, as a result, the next day my son was benched for the first inning, and placed last in the batting order.  I supported that decision, as the coaches felt he had to have some consequence for not showing up the day before.  In baseball, as in life, if you don't show up, you are less likely to succeed. (It also tends to piss off a lot of people who are relying on you.)  

2.  THERE WILL ALWAYS BE CONFLICT, ON THE FIELD AND IN LIFE.  IT'S HOW YOU            DEAL WITH IT THAT MATTERS. 

Coaches don't always agree, and sometimes they give conflicting advice to their players.  Similarly, parents don't always agree, and often parent their children differently.  In life, there will always be people who disagree and think that their way is the better way.  When this happens, you have choices. You can handle it with grace and dignity, or you can escalate the conflict. In baseball, there are often times when coaches, parents, and players all think the Ump has made a bad call.  I've seen parents and coaches lose their cool during these times.  Some yell, some curse, and some silently stew. There will always be different perspectives.  It's how we handle this that is most important.  While my son was at a baseball camp for a few days this summer, the baseball trainer gave him different advice than his own coach.  When he told me about it later that day, he was upset, because he felt he was doing exactly what he had been taught to do, but was being criticized for it.  After talking with him further, he began to realize the value of hearing contrasting opinions.  In the end, I encouraged him to respect the trainer's advice while he is at his camp, and if he still doesn't agree, then to discuss his concern with his own coach.  That way, he can better understand where each person is coming from and determine what his best course of action would be.   

3.  CONFIDENCE IS HALF THE BATTLE.  If you think you can, you very well might.  However, if you think you can't, you definitely won't.  Sports psychology has taught us the importance of positive thinking and visualizing success.  Confidence seems to be a trait that is an asset in many areas of life. Last season, my son was last in the batting lineup.  At some point early on, he began to lose his confidence.  He was last because his skills at that time were not good enough to be placed closer to the top of the lineup. This seemed to reinforce his lack of confidence, and consequently, his performance. This season, however, we worked with a trainer on hitting and pitching.  From his hard work, my son improved his skills, and his confidence, and he was moved up in the batting order. While he had to earn his right to become one of the first several batters, once he did, getting placed higher up in the order further increased his confidence, and improved his performance.  He went from feeling criticized about his skills last season, to feeling like others finally believed in him. Like they wanted him there.  Like he had earned his right to be there.  Have confidence that you will improve, and you are more likely to do so.  No matter how much criticism comes your way, never give up on yourself.  

4. SUPPORTING YOUR TEAMMATES IS A MUST.  I love when I overhear my son telling his teammates "good job" or "don't worry you'll get it next time" etc.  The support that he gives his buddies is priceless.  It is a necessary effort to make the whole team stay motivated.  Whether its a spouse, a friend, a co-worker, a coach, or a teammate, its important to feel like someone has your back.  Optimism, encouragement, and enthusiasm is essential to succeed in the game of life, and to help others do so as well.    

5.  EVERY INNING IS A CHANCE TO CHANGE THE OUTCOME. In life, or in baseball, the game is always changing.  Nothing is permanent.  Every day is another opportunity to live your best life. Every inning is another chance to get the homerun.  I've often heard one of the coaches say "Its a brand new ballgame boys," once the game gets tied up after we have been losing.  Every day, and every inning, is a new beginning. (Yes, I realize that rhymes.  It should make it easier for you all to remember this lesson!) 

6.  A BAD ATTITUDE AFFECTS EVERYONE.  At home, in the workplace, at school, or on the baseball field, one bad apple can spoil the whole bunch.  Enough said.  

   

7. DON'T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF. 

We've all seen parents and coaches get riled up over something happening in the game. We've all seen players' frustration grow when something does not go the way they had hoped.   In baseball, and in life, when things don't go our way, we need to be able to let things roll off our back.  You tend to see this with pitchers a lot.  It seems helpful when their team reminds them to let it go, and to focus on the next pitch instead. (For more on that, see #4 above, Supporting Your Teammates Is A Must.)

8. AS BABE RUTH SAID, "YESTERDAY'S HOME RUNS DON'T WIN TODAY'S GAMES." Never stop giving it your all. You can't live off of yesterday's success.  Neither in baseball, nor in life. You have to keep working at it.  If it is important to you, then you will put in the effort.  If it's not, then this will show. In life, for example, relationships take consistent effort.  When you stop making the effort, the relationship suffers.  I used to be in a long term relationship with a boyfriend who would tell me that this was all the time he had to give me right now.  Yet, had I been more of a priority to him, he probably would have made more time for me to be part of his life.  People make time for what's important to them.  With the couples I counsel, I often see how lack of effort in relationships leads to conflict, disappointment, resentment, and often the end of a union.  You can't keep a relationship going solely off of past effort. Likewise, previous accomplishments in baseball don't win you today's championship game.