These days, I do not consider myself a very religious person. However, for a slight change of pace, this blog refers to my religion. In the Jewish religion, the ten days between the holiday of Rosh Hashanah (the Jewish New Year) and the holiday of Yom Kippur (the Day of Atonement) marks the time when Jews reflect on their transgressions and atone for their sins. This past week welcomed in the new year, and this coming weekend begins the holiday of Yom Kippur. Therefore, I thought it was the perfect time to write a blog about forgiveness.
This Rosh Hashanah, my children and I had a discussion about what we are sorry for and what we will try to do better this year. They said things like, "I'll be a better listener" and "I'll be more respectful." I said I would have more patience and try not to raise my voice to them. It was a nice discussion that I felt addressed all of our concerns. As I look back over the past year, I have been through a lot. Yet, I always felt like I continued to try to look out for others' well being, despite my own challenging circumstances. I recognize there were probably times that I could have done better. I am only human. I make mistakes. I can only juggle so much. All I can do is apologize for those mistakes, and try to do better the next time. So, if by some chance I have hurt your feelings in any way, (be you a friend, family member, or even a stranger), I am truly sorry.
The phrase forgive and forget is an interesting one. People don't really forget the times they feel they were wronged. They tuck it away in their memory, but sometimes, it resurfaces. Forgiveness, on the other hand, is a more conscious choice. It takes effort and awareness to recognize that people make mistakes, and then try to accept it and move forward. I tend to think of myself as a very forgiving person. When someone has wronged me in some way, I have a choice. I can hold on to that hurt and anger, or I can try to understand it, and then let it go. I don't believe I hold grudges. I don't become vengeful. I try to understand others' perspectives so that I may accept situations and move forward, rather than being stuck in negative emotions. Of course, as I mentioned before, I am only human. I am not perfect. These are my goals and aspirations.
It is a valuable skill to be able to accept someone's apology and clear your heart and mind to move forward. Yet, don't forgive someone for their sake. Forgive them for your own. Holding on to anger only causes more difficulties. Keeping grudges can cause physical and psychological harm to oneself. I've always believed that I live my life in such a way that every day is a clean slate. Every day is a fresh start. It is a new opportunity for me to do better, and a new opportunity to accept others' mistakes as well. No one knows what tomorrow brings. Live each day in such a way that, if it were your last, you would die feeling good about the choices you made and the way you treated others. I don't have to tell you about the value of life. Many of you know from your own experiences that life is fragile. Life is precious. Life is fleeting. So, let's live it with love and forgiveness, rather than hurt, anger, or resentment. As Gandhi said, "The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong." Be strong. Forgive those who you feel have wronged you. Forgiveness brings peace.
As we move through the next year, whether secular or religious, let us all remember what Einstein said. "Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving." No matter what comes your way, keep moving. If you have made mistakes, apologize and keep moving. If you have been wronged, forgive and keep moving. For those of you who celebrate this holiday, happy new year! Forgive, forget, and move forward!
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