CARPE DIEM!

CARPE DIEM

In the 1989 film Dead Poet’s Society, Robin Williams starred as an English literature teacher in a conservative, elite prep school.  In one particular scene, the class is discussing a poem written by Robert Herrick.  It includes the verse “Gather ye rosebuds while ye may, old time is still a-flying. And this same flower that smiles today, tomorrow will be dying.”  The poem reflects the idea that time passes quickly, and therefore we must make the most of every moment.  The Latin phrase “Carpe Diem” became popular in today’s culture from this movie, as the poem’s message is reflected in this phrase.  Carpe diem translates to Seize The Day.  In the movie, Robin Williams’ character teaches his students to love poetry, and to seize the day.  He encourages them to live life immediately, and live it to its fullest. 

This is a valuable and powerful message. I’ve experienced the importance of carpe diem in my own life.  I have learned through the years that life is fragile. What is here one day may be gone tomorrow. For example, I remember when I turned 40, I threw a big party with all of my friends.  I also took a trip to Mexico to celebrate my milestone.  I remember thinking at the party how lucky I was, how fortunate to have so many people in my life to celebrate with me in so many ways.  However, several months later, many things changed, including my mother suddenly passing away, and then following that, I received a diagnosis of cancer. One day I was a happy, healthy 40 year old ready to start a new, better decade than the last, and the next day my world looked very different.  Appreciate what you have today because it might be gone tomorrow, whether that be your health, a relationship, a job, a loved one, or any other aspect of life that we value.   

In my work as a clinical psychologist, I often see clients whose lives have been affected by some sort of upheaval, whether it be by tragedy, or any other type of unexpected change.  I encourage my clients to say how the feel and to express their thoughts, not only in our sessions, but in their own lives.  The truth is, we don’t always get a second chance.  However, sometimes we don’t say, or for that matter, don’t do, whatever it is that needs to happen.   We don’t seize the day, and we miss out on opportunities to better ourselves, and our lives.

Anxiety disorders, which affect 40 million adults in the U.S., and one in eight children, often affect an individual’s ability to seize the day. Anxiety seems to be the number one mental health problem in our society.  Anxiety can prevent people from living their lives to the fullest.  Treating anxiety disorders is a specialty of mine in my private practice (including generalized anxiety, panic disorder, OCD, social phobia, PTSD, and specific phobias).  Anxiety is a highly treatable condition, however not all people realize this and not all seek help. Genetics, brain chemistry, personality, and life events have all been shown to play a role in the development of anxiety disorders.  When my clients come to see me, I help them learn that they have the ability to decrease, manage, and control their anxiety.  They are taught cognitive  tools to use to allow them to change  their anxiety-provoking thoughts, emotions, and behaviors.  Anxiety can be overwhelming for many people, and at times, debilitating. It is certainly one type of factor that can prevent people from making the most of the moments they have. 

On a personal note, I can also relate to anxiety having an effect on my own efforts to seize the day.  For example, when I was a student in graduate school, I often experienced anxiety with public speaking. I would become nervous when I knew I had to speak in front of large groups of people.  In graduate school, there was no way to avoid public speaking.  I had to contribute to class discussions, present my masters thesis and doctoral dissertation to a committee of professors as well as the public, and I also had to teach psychology classes to undergraduate students.  Public speaking was a part of daily graduate student life.  Often, I would try to think of something to help me through the discomfort.  I used the Nike slogan “Just Do It.”  When it came time for me to speak, I would try to avoid thinking about anything I was experiencing internally, but rather would focus on just doing it….just taking that moment to speak, without evaluating myself…and to seize the day.  Fortunately, it worked, and I made it through graduate school successfully, public speaking and all.

Similarly, as an undergraduate student, I had to make choices to either avoid anxiety-provoking  situations, or to live in the moment. I chose to live abroad for a semester in Israel on an overseas student program.  I did not have any friends going on the program, but I signed up anyway.  We only get one chance to seize the moment, and this seemed like an opportunity that I did not want to miss.  That was one of the best, albeit one of the most difficult and challenging, experiences of my life.  I will never get those times back, but I am so thankful that I took the opportunity to enjoy them while I could.

Sometimes, it can be a physical problem or a health condition that can affect how we seize the day.  Recently, I saw one of my client’s who is battling a terminal illness.  There are so many obstacles for her to be able to live in the moment and to take all the opportunities that come her way.  Daily life is a struggle.  It can be hard to find the positive in a world full of suffering and uncertainty. Yet, when we talked, we discussed how to take those things that matter most in life, and to enjoy the good that comes along, and to find the silver linings wherever possible. 

When my son was three years old, he broke his leg and ended up in a full leg cast and a wheelchair.  He didn’t let it stop him, however.  When all the other kids in the neighborhood were outside riding bikes, he rolled his wheelchair outside and raced right alongside them.  He didn’t allow his condition to prevent him from seizing the day…from getting to play outside with his friends in whatever way possible.  We were fortunate, as this was a temporary obstacle, and after several months he was back on his feet.  However, there are a lot of people who live with daily, permanent physical challenges, who somehow find a way to not let these interfere with making the most of every moment. 

Recently, I attended a school talent show for my children.  The principal made a joke that the theme song of the school this year was the song Let It Go from the movie Frozen.  It seemed that every elementary school girl had chosen to sing Let It Go for the talent show.  Perhaps this is because so many kids loved the movie. Or perhaps because they loved the idea of dressing up as the characters in the movie.  Or, perhaps, on a more profound note, our children know a good lesson when they hear one.  The lyrics of one of the verses of the song include the following:

“Its funny how some distance makes everything seems small.  And the fears that once controlled me can’t get to me at all. It’s time to see what I can do, to test the limits and break through.  No right, no wrong, no rules for me, I’m free!“

Maybe our youth today understand that when we let go of our fears, insecurities, and apprehensions, and allow ourselves to be who we truly are, limitations and all, and we let ourselves live in the moment, that we are suddenly, totally free.   Whether we are limited by emotional or physical difficulties, or any other kind of hardship, we as humans still possess the ability to take the great moments that come our way, live them as thoroughly as possible, and to cherish them afterwards.

At the end of the poetry scene in the movie Dead Poet’s Society, Robin Williams whispers, “Make your lives extraordinary.” I believe this is excellent advice. This moment, right now, is the only one we know we have for certain.  Just do it. Make it count. Seize the day.  Carpe Diem!