One of my favorite lines from a movie is, "Screws fall out all the time, the world's an imperfect place." I can't tell you how many times I must've quoted this line from the character John Bender in the 1985 movie The Breakfast Club. It seems to be appropriate in many situations in every day life (at least in mine anyway!) However, in the film, this line is delivered when the detention teacher is asking Bender to give the screw back that he believes was stolen from the door. Bender's reply is humorous, nervy, and profound all at the same time. (On a side note, if you haven't seen this movie, you are seriously missing out on a classic film that was an influential part of my generation's formative years.)
In any case, there is a lot of truth to this quote. Things don't always go as we have planned, or as we would like. We have to be ready and willing to deal with the unexpected. It's not always going to be easy. As Adam Levine of Maroon 5 tell us, "It's not always rainbows and butterflies, it's compromise that moves us along." Sometimes, we just have to make the most of the situation at hand, even if it's not what we had intended it to be. We need to find ways to keep the door open, even with missing screws, just like the detention teacher tries to do in the movie.
When I first got divorced several years ago, and was adjusting to my new life, a friend of mine had cautioned me, "Some days are just not going to be as good as others. And thats ok. Don't expect them to be. The next day will be better." He had good advice that was useful at the time, and I still think about it often. I try to teach my clients this as well. Just because an individual may be feeling sad or discouraged in that particular moment, it does not necessarily mean that they will feel that way tomorrow. There are things that can be done to change how one thinks and feels. This is very important for suicidal clients who, at the moment, may feel hopeless and helpless in their situation. It is helpful to remember other times when they have felt good, and know that they can feel this way again. This is one moment in time, and it doesn't have to be forever. The same goes for clients with mood disorders who don't always know exactly what the next day will bring or how they will feel going through it.
For every one of us, there will always be challenging days in our lives. Yet, there will always be better days too. I've mentioned to some of my clients that this week is the official beginning of Spring. I've had some people ask if I'm suggesting that there is a new beginning in their near future. (Yes, even my clients know how much I like metaphors and quotes.) I believe there is a new beginning that awaits us. When spring arrives, the snow melts, the temperatures rise, and a new energy fills the air. Spring is known as the season of rebirth. There has been a lot of rough weather this past year, and everyone is ready for a change. However, it is worthwhile to remember that bad weather also brings with it an appreciation for the good that follows it. This sentiment is described by the poet Anne Bradstreet. "If we had no winter, the spring would not be so pleasant. If we did not sometimes taste of adversity, prosperity would not be so welcome."
So, come the polar vortex, or loose screws, or any other type of adversity that is in our way, there is one thing I know for sure. It's all part of life. The good, the bad, and the in-between. We just have to roll with it. Screws fall out all the time. The world's an imperfect place. Embrace the imperfection.
No comments:
Post a Comment