Saturday, January 6, 2018

ROCKY BALBOA AND MY INNER STRENGTH

I have a picture in my bedroom that states, "You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have."  A friend gave this to me after I was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2013.  Since then, the words have applied to so many life events besides cancer.  Reading it has helped me in many ways.  It is a reminder that I am strong and can face whatever comes my way.  However, I suppose the alternative way of looking at this statement is that you do in fact have a choice.  You can choose to try to be strong, or you can choose to give up.  When life throws its punches (and let's face it, we all know it does), you have the choice to stand up and fight, or to take yourself out of the ring.  Rocky Balboa taught us that "It ain't about how hard you hit, it's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward."  These are words that I have remembered since my diagnosis.  Perseverance in the face of any kind of adversity is essential to one's well-being.

When I became a breast cancer survivor, I vowed never to give up my strength, no matter what the circumstances.  We've all had to face obstacles, both big and small.  Mine are not uncommon.  Over the years, they've included things like divorce, single parenting (particularly challenging when my kids were babies), family all in other states, getting my education and establishing my own psychology practice, death of loved ones (especially my mom), multiple health challenges, multiple moves, two-faced friends, cheating partners, etc.  So many things in life can tear down one's strength! The goal is to grow from the challenges, rather than give in and let them suck away your power.

While working with clients facing all kinds of hardships, I try to help them see how much stronger they have become as a result of these events.  Whether teenagers, adults, or couples, my clients are one step ahead because they have decided to fight back against whatever obstacles they are facing.  Sometimes people come to see me feeling they are "weak" or "broken" from whatever adversity they are fighting. However, I don't view it this way.  They are there, in my office, making efforts to improve themselves and their situation.  They are not taking the easy way out, or giving up.  They are warriors!  Ernest Hemingway said, "The world breaks everyone, and afterward, some are strong at the broken places." It's those people who stay in the boxing ring of life, that don't give up the fight,  that come out stronger.

When life, people, and things all challenge your strength, remember who you really are at your core.  Remember your strength.  Remember your own power.  In the past, I have been challenged not to give up on what I know to be true, despite the negativity around me.  I am a kind, honest, caring, intelligent woman.  I've devoted my career to understanding and helping others.  I am a single mother who puts my children first.  I am a cancer survivor.  When people and events around me threaten to take away my inner strength, I remember in my heart who I really am, and what it is I stand for.

This year, let's all try to strengthen each other, not tear each other down.  Its easy to get caught up in what other people are doing or saying, or to allow others negativity to wear us down.  Be the one who stands by others and helps them feel supported.  When someone you know wants to step out of the ring, because the challenges have become too much, be the positive voice that helps them to not give up.  One of the greatest challenges of life is feeling like you are alone to battle obstacles.  Over the years, I've learned what that is like, whether it was battling cancer, battling gossip, or battling any other hardship alone.  In this new year, when adversity strikes you or your loved ones, let's all remember the words of Rocky Balboa, "Going in one more round when you don't think you can, that's what makes all the difference in your life."

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