I AM ONLY ONE, BUT STILL I AM ONE

Lately, I've been thinking a lot about social support.  You know, those people in your life that are there for you through thick and thin.  Friends.  Family.  Maybe neighbors or co-workers.  Psychology literature is rich with research that tells us over and over again how social support mitigates the negative effects of so many of life's challenges.  Whether it be health problems, economic hardship, relationship difficulties, or any other negative life event, social support is key to getting through the rough times in a positive way.

I've taken notice of this phenomenon in many ways in my own life.  When my mother passed away recently, I noticed and appreciated those friends that stepped up and tried to be there for me.  Whether it was to call, send a donation, bring food, or just give me a hug, their social support was very much appreciated. When I was diagnosed with breast cancer a few months later, I also noticed who offered to be there for me, and who was actually there. Sometimes people get scared by others' challenges and back away, but sometimes it brings out the very good heartedness of those around us.  Everyday, I value those people in my life that have been there for me. For many, it can be hard to reach out and ask for help.  And sometimes, unfortunately, our requests for support are denied.  But without taking a chance and asking for it, we end up alone at times when we need social support the most.  

Although I am not married, and do not have a significant other, I am fortunate to have friends and family that offer their social support, even if its simply a phone call or a text to say hello and see how I'm doing. Their care and concern reminds me how important social support truly is.  Likewise, when I go to radiation therapy every day, I try to smile and say hello to the other patients, as well as the people that work there.  I try to offer my own version of social support, even if its in a very small way. The people there all think I'm strong.  They tell me so.  But really, I see it as I'm just trying to make a not-so-desirable situation more tolerable...for myself, and for those around me.  I guess I need that feeling of social support.  Of togetherness.  Of unity.  Especially these days, it is something I really value.  

We've all read stories about how one person, through their kind words or gestures, has made a difference in someone else's life. We've seen stories about how one act of kindness has significantly altered someone's mindset and behavior.  We've also heard a lot about the concept of Pay It Forward. We don't lose anything by showing support or kindness to another person.  We only gain something, and so do they. 

So, the next time you hesitate about whether to be friendly to the waiter, or smile at the person in the elevator, or ask your co-worker how they're doing today, or ask the young child why they're crying, remember that you can offer your own small gesture of social support, even to strangers. As Helen Keller said, "I am only one, but still I am one.  I cannot do everything, but still I can do something; and because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do the something that I can do."