LIFE MOVES PRETTY FAST...

There is a well known quote from the 1996 movie Ferris Bueller's Day Off.  "Life moves pretty fast.  If you don't stop and look around once in awhile, you could miss it." Today, I was reminded of this poignant statement regarding the passage of time. This morning, just like many mornings before, I dropped my kids off at elementary school.  Before we even got into the car to drive to school, I made sure to give each of them a big hug and a kiss.  This is a tradition for us, because at drop off, there is not much time to say our goodbyes.  Since I have shared custody with my ex husband, I often go several days at a time without seeing my children.  Therefore, I like to make sure we have ample time to say goodbye, and enjoy enough affection to tide us all over until the next time we are together.

As I watched my kids walk into school today, I thought about how quickly they grow up.  It seems like it was only yesterday that my oldest started preschool, and now she is a 5th grader who will be starting middle school next year.  I'm sure many of you with teenagers or college students can relate to this sentiment even more so than I can.  In any case, I observed my daughter and son as they left the shelter of my car, and walked into the school building, and into their day as independent students.  As I did so, I couldn't help but think how surreal it all seemed.  These unique little personalities were once babies whom I held and nursed. At that time, I was their whole world.  For the few seconds that I watched them enter into school today, I pictured them years from now...walking into high school, graduating from college, and then walking into the unfamiliar world of becoming an adult.

As a divorced parent with shared custody, I sometimes feel that I am missing out on half of my children's day to day experiences.  My kids were ages three and six at the time of the divorce.  Sometimes it is hard to remember what that was like for them when they were so young, or what that was like for me as a single mother with such little ones.  Memories have a tendency to fade over time.  The days of rocking chairs, music classes, and blankies all seem so long ago.  The days of iPods, sleep away camp, and math tests are the here and now.  Soon, of course, these too will be hazy recollections of yesterday.

When you are a parent of young children, it is easy to get caught up in the weekly routine, such as homework, after school classes, and laundry.  With all of our To Do lists, it is easy to forget to take time to stop and smell the roses. And, in my opinion, children are the sweetest roses of all. There is a poem entitled "If I Had My Child To Raise Over Again" by Diana Loomins that illustrates this idea of making the most of the moments that we have as parents. Let's all try to cherish our children in the present, every day, as those ordinary moments become extraordinary memories.

"If I had my child to raise all over again,
I'd finger paint more, and point the finger less.
I would do less correcting and more connecting.
I'd take my eyes off my watch, and watch with my eyes.
I would care to know less, and know to care more.
I'd take more hikes, and fly more kites.
I'd stop playing serious, and seriously play.
I would run through more fields and gaze at more stars.
I'd do more hugging and less tugging.
I would be firm less often, and affirm much more.
I'd build self esteem first, and the house later.
I'd teach less about the love of power,
And more about the power of love.
It matters not whether my child is big or small,
From this day forth, I'll cherish it all."